It has been quite some time since I have posted in this blog. In June I decided that I would take a bit of a summer break from Art and Craft and it has ended up being a good thing for sure. This has been one of the most challenging summers of my life. Two weeks ago, I was in a bad car accident. I was taking a break from the hospital where my father had been and decided to go to the bookshop. I took my almost three year old son Max with me and off we went. It was a sweet visit with Max buying a book about bugs and me picking up the latest Cloth, Paper, Scissors Magazine. On our way back, we were cut off by a driver and the car was totalled. Max was fine, but I ended up with whiplash, bruises on my abdomen, and some serious back pain. Thankfully I will be fine with some massage and physiotherapy over the next few months.
A week later, after 11 years of battling multiple myeloma, my father passed away. For those of you who don’t know me, My dad meant the world to me. He was a wonderful man and a great dad. Supportive, Funny and Kind. Now that he is gone, my heart is so very sad. I don’t know quite how to describe it. Since my father has left the world is quieter, a bit more serious, and somewhat frightening. I know that time heals and that memories will help me get through this with the support of friends and family, but I can’t help but feel alone.
And this is when Art comes in. During these past few weeks, I have sat by my father’s bedside listening to him breathe heavily. I sat with journal in hand and i just wrote down memories, poems, thoughts. I got out markers and drew doodles, and sketched my father’s profile. At night when I am home and can’t sleep, I listen to music that my father adored, Spanish Zarzuelas, Mario Lanza and Placido Domingo. And it all helps. It helps a lot.
My dad was someone who taught me that it was important to do what you love. I know that he was surprised when I decided to be an artist, be it a performer or a visual artist. He might have been worried but after we would talk about things, he would always say, “I don’t really understand what you do, but it’s clear that it makes you happy and you are good at it, so keep on.”
These past few weeks have been horrible. The most difficult times have been at night, but when i take a moment to write, or draw or collage, it felt like i was at home, as if healing was happening, slowly but surely. The work that I am creating won’t be seen in public, but it’s just for me and my dad. A way to cherish, remember and to love him. What a gift.